My question to you all today is – Should the birthday girl or boy ‘win’ every game played at their party?
The child is the true guest of honour at their party, but should they win every game?
I ask this because I have noticed a shift over the last 6 / 12 months and it’s becoming a common request from my lovely families who have booked a party to ask – Please can you try to ensure that my child wins all the games as they get really upset.
Of course I NEVER want an upset child, especially at their own special party, but it got me wondering… has something changed in the school curriculum? Are there no longer winners or losers? Is everyone a winner? And should I just start to automatically do this for every party even if it’s not requested? HELP!!!
I seriously have started to get nervous about it!
I have never felt this way when it comes to playing party games. I have always felt confident and in control of the kids. I am always calm and diplomatic and have never really had a problem but now I literally feel scared to not reward the birthday girl or boy for every game! My mouth gets dry and I feel this hot rush come over me just before I pick my winner. Its like they could be a ticking time bomb of emotion, and if they ‘go off’ and get upset I will feel like I ruined the whole party! Boo!!!!
Sounds a bit dramatic right ( well lets face it, I am a fairly dramatic person in general ) but my focus is always to make sure the child has the best day possible.
So I now bring extra, extra prizes so the birthday girl or boy wins as well as one of their friends (so it doesn’t look too ‘rigged’). I try my best to ‘read the situation’ and so far I am mostly spot on but there have been some definite moments.
Like if a sibling doesn’t win as well ( hard when theres 5 siblings!!) or if they don’t both get a prize exactly the same.
I started to think back to my own birthday parties and ones I attended as a kid.
We NEVER had a prize in every layer of the pass the parcel ( mum was probably like – this wrapping is enough as it is!) and we certainly didn’t win every game. We learnt what it felt like to lose.
Not just at parties. I think I lost every running/ swimming/ sporting event and race I ever took part in. But I wasn’t too bothered by that. I think I actually thought it was funny! Maybe only slightly bothered when I took part in dancing competitions. Those things can really KILL your ego. ( excuse me while I reminisce those hardcore, competitive, over the top, dance comps. They are BRUTAL. I even won a few and still think they are full on.)
On an extension of this I started to think, if kids are always winning and never losing, how will they take their first job rejection or if they are not accepted into uni.
What about the first person that turns them down on a date or if they apply for a rental home and don’t make the cut? Are we setting kids up for emotional downfall? Or is there a study I need to read up on that shows they will be much more confident and independent by adulthood to deal with losing and rejection better once they are older and more mature?
I ask this as a mother and not just a children’s entertainer. If parents want me to ensure their child wins at every party, I will do that because that is my job. I am here to give your kids the best god dam party!! But as a mother, I want to know – has there been a shift? What have I missed? Have I been too busy playing tractor games and watching ABC kids in between emails and meetings to have missed the news on this one?
I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this little dilemma.
Lots of love always – regardless of if you win or lose. xxx